Getting your Portrait taken is nothing short of magic.
Last year I have done a self portrait, this year I wanted to experience a full portrait experience like the one I give my clients.
Hair and makeup and the whole day pampering me. Pose training and dress change and expressions exercises.
I knew it was not going to be easy, let yourself go in front of the camera is not something that comes naturally to me. Putting myself first is something I don’t do well.
For this reason, I decided to preach what I teach and get myself this experience.
I can let you know that I understand it better now. It’s hard to let go of the daily tensions, stay focused for 4 hours, let yourself led by the expert, and just enjoy.
It’s like the holidays you take after a long year of work, you find it hard to de-tense and disconnect in the first few days.
What I realized is that the sooner you let go of control, (and boy, as an expert myself, is hard to do) the sooner you can achieve the results you want.
So what did this photoshoot teach me?
Well, it was easy to see, I am tense. Does this apply to you too?
I don’t take time enough for myself to enjoy time off, selfless time off for me, with me.
Like a massage, a spa day, a dinner alone reading a book, checking in with myself more often, how do I feel right now. Am I balanced? Or am I tense? Am I calm and grounded or am I all over the place? Am I clear and sharp in my thoughts or is it hard for me to focus. These are clues that tell you how far you are in your tiredness and stress. Being balanced is a trained muscle and one that you can develop.
So it was good to slow down and take some me-time and then reflect on it.
I learned how hard it is for me to let go of control. Can you relate?
This is something unhealthy, I think and possibly the reason I work for myself. Perfection doesn’t exist but good results can be achieved multiple ways. Sometimes is good to let someone else take the lead and let yourself flow with them.
I am shy. Shy to be watched, shy to connect with someone’s eyes for my own purpose, shy to hold the gaze.
So after all these preconceptions of how things should go, are let loose, that’s when the magic begins and the photographer can do its job.
I realize how hard this is for you and I will be ever more kind and allowing you more space to open for my future photo shoots.
I am pleased with this portrait, this is me at the age of 35. Even though it was a journey to achieve it, I recommend this experience to everyone because it is a valuable lesson of self-discovery.