Looking through the lens

One doesn’t really know a person unless they’re in front of the camera. Looking through the lens, there’s another layer uncovered than the familiar face we post to the public. Maybe that’s why personal photoshoots are more intimate, you go through the layers of you, unveiling the different layers of your personality. 

This was the case with my client Ionela, I knew her from events we organised and attended together, I grew familiar with her bubbly personality, and I saw her as the cool chick. 

But seeing her in front of my camera, I have discovered the woman that she is, talented, creative, resourceful, authentic.. vulnerable, and not afraid to show it, powerful at the same time a complete woman in her own rights. 

I felt affection, and for me, that means being inspired and motivated to look beyond the public face. 

“Seeing these portraits empowers me, all the while making me feel extremely proud of the woman I have become. “

 

 Is Femininity a trap ? 

Femininity: The quality of being female; womanliness.
Feminism: The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

– Oxford Dictionary

 

” My notions of femininity and feminism have always existed in the interstices between race and class. Growing up in rural California in the 80s, and like so many of my peers at the time, I had the sky-high, hair-sprayed hair (thank you Aqua Net) and the ringlet perm that was so typical of the era. I wore some serious war paint for a few years….until I got serious about my future. Then it became clear that I would have to leave some things behind if I wanted to be taken seriously and, in my own mind, if I wanted to live true to the principles of feminism.

While my own mother wore no make-up, and god bless her, was and continues to be naturally beautiful (I know we all say this about our mothers, but in my case it really is true!), the image of the ruby-red lipstick wearing Latina was something Hollywood always made sure I was aware of.  Not wanting to be that spitfire stereotype, by the time I fulfilled my childhood dream of going to UC Berkeley, I quickly learned that there were a few no-no´s about my look:

 

  • Make-up? In the bin. Wearing it was succumbing to patriarchal notions of femininity. Besides, people should love you for what you have on the inside and not on the outside.

  •  Beautiful high heels? Toss ´em, another symbol of female subjugation. I became all about the Birkenstocks, flats, and sports shoes (though I didn’t exercise) 

  • Frilly dresses that gave any hint of the female form? Jeans were best but sweats a close runner-up. At one point, I had about 15 pairs of jeans. Dresses? No way. All of us, male and female, were the same and dressed only accentuated societal notions of gender. (And I will never forget a friend offering me a change of clothes when I showed up in my flowery dress…I can only laugh now!)

  • shaved legs and armpits? Natural was the only way to go. 

 

Interesting enough, the only class I took while at UC Berkeley that supported the idea that femininity and feminism could perfectly co-exist was one on Gender! But everything else about being at CAL made clear that my version of femininity was too backward. So I adjusted.

 

 

By the time I hit law school, my dress code was set in stone. I occasionally wore a dress if the situation merited it, and I immediately felt uncomfortable.  So it became permanent: I couldn´t shake the notion that my notion of femininity, as I had experienced it, equated weakness.

 

In the subsequent 15-20 odd years, I married, moved countries, had two children. During that period, my workplaces reflected my attitudes about femininity: jeans acceptable, little if any makeup, plain hair.

 

And amidst all this, in my early 40s, my husband and I had faced a serious crisis. After several years where the highs were incredibly high, and the lows incredibly low, we had become roommates…without benefits. We lived in stone cold silences, only to reconcile with the sweetest of whisperings, with my husband asking me why I was hiding that diamond inside.  Only to find ourselves feeling alone and lonely again a few days later. After seriously considering a divorce, we re-committed to one another.  And each of us set on a path of self-discovery in order to get that spark back (you can read about it on my website here).

 

The result of that emotional re-commitment made each of us face some hard truths about ourselves and about each other. One element for me was discovering that I had, indeed, squelched and smothered a diamond inside. That everything that made me wonderful was there, waiting to be discovered…not by anyone else, but by me. So it was that in my 40s, I began wearing make-up again. I learned how to walk in heels again. I got my first waxing treatment (I can still hear the hair removal specialist’s yelp…that’s another story).  I got my ears pierced at a jewelry store in Indischebuurt, where my very girly friend Ileana was only too happy to hold my hand. (I will forever be grateful to her).

 

Of course, wearing make-up and heels did not make me more feminine: I am a woman, I am feminine (see Oxford definition). I believe in equal rights for woman. I am feminist. But through the entire process, I learned that I don’t need to hide what makes me feel happy and feminine…and that includes rejoicing in my female form. Even Alicia Keys, a supporter of the no makeup movement, said on the Today show, an American morning show, that she has nothing against make-up. “I love make-up too…“It’s about how you feel. It’s about who you are. It’s about being who you are and not being told who you should be. This conversation shows our obsession with the standard we hold women and beauty.” Alicia and I are at the same time having reached the same conclusion. And I no longer buy my story that only makeup-free women are taken seriously. It simply is no longer my story, and I feel liberated. Free. My story is rejoicing in my newfound notions of femininity. And relishing in each and every one of them, high heels (well…2-inch platforms max) and all! And part of that was participating in Cristina Stoian’s amazing project.

That said, I also don’t let it all hang out. But even if I did, the decision to do so would be mine. And that is feminism and femininity at its best.”  Leticia Vasquez

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 Leticia Vasquez is a relationship coach.  She loves helping women to find lifelong romance without repeating themselves incessantly, whether by crying in rage, sulking, silently seething or fighting. Her approach is rooted in mindfulness and consists of six tools that can help any relationship be rooted in calm, peace…and passion. www.leticia-vasquez.com

 

Mother Daughter

Portraits for me, speak about self- love and loving your body.

 

So many women struggle with their image, as we are judged on impossible standards of appearance.

 

This insecurity is passed from generation to generation. This is why it is so important to teach your daughter to love herself now, the way she is. The message is: “I love myself, therefore my daughter loves herself.”

 

In my practice as a photographer, I offer a ‘mother-daughter day’, so when Allison asked me to be a ‘selfie advisor’ for this event for mothers-and daughters, it felt that I should be part of it. I knew I could pass on some fun tips about photography and also help mothers start a conversation about self-love with their teens.

 

A new study says that girls (65%) feel increasing pressures from advertising and media to reach an unrealistic standard of beauty. This is the key force in driving their appearance anxiety.

 

Low body-esteem is causing the majority of women (85%) and girls (79%) to opt out of important life activities – such as trying out for a team or club, and engaging with family or loved ones – when they don’t feel good about the way they look.

 

Additionally, 7 in 10 girls with low body-esteem say they won’t be assertive in their opinion or stick to their decision if they aren’t happy with the way they look, while 9 out of 10! (87%) women will stop themselves from eating or will otherwise put their health at risk.

 

“This latest research shows that low body confidence is a global issue,” says Dr Nancy Etcoff of Harvard Medical School.

 

This is why we need to empower our girls now, increasing body – confidence education.

We can start by having meaningful conversations around the body – image, how they perceive their own appearance.

I had a girl in my studio the other day, she was so beautiful, my heart was melting, but she stayed so serious the whole shoot. I realized while photographing her, she was uncomfortable with her teeth, so she avoided smiling. It took a lot to make her smile and she was only 7!!

Our own perceptions of ourselves start so early, it is important to educate our girls in the right direction. Make the first step. Come to our shoot and we’ll start a conversation while taking portraits.

 

Enjoy this mother-daughter day and portrait reveal of this beautiful mother-daughter pair.

 

 

 

Start a meaningful conversations around body-image

You're so beautiful

Schedule a chat

 

Galentine’s Day

I was mentioning last time that the first step to love is, self love.
Well, I continue here with the next step.
This one is easier and fun: Love your girlfriends.

 

Acknowledge and celebrate your girlfriends! They are your support system. They are there for you. They hold you when you are low and they are there to celebrate your little and big successes.

 

Idea: Throw a Galentine’s Day party for your close girl friends.

 

It will fill your heart with joy to prepare it, and announce it and will definitely create a big sensation in your gal group.

 

Three women walked into my studio excited and ready to spend a whole day together. One of them was celebrating 40 years on this planet and she decided to do something special this year to mark her anniversary.

 

I advised them on their outfits and accessories, told them to book a restaurant for afterwards, since they’re going to look gorgeous and make it a girl’s day out.

 

Weeks later, armed with their jolly spirits, they made their appearance bearing heaps of cool dresses and jewellery, and were ready to get pampered for the day.

 

I’ll leave you with an impression of the day and some of their quotes, some behind the scenes and their lovely photos.

 

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“It was a very special experience of feeling beautiful and discovering new facets of myself.” 

 

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“I really enjoyed the day at your studio, with getting styled and put into poses that I had never done before.”IMG_3897

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“When I saw the photos for the first time I thought to myself, <<Wow and yes, that’s me too!>>”

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“I started to develop a new vision of myself. This process is not yet finished but seeing the photos added another important element.”

 

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“I enjoyed spending this day with 2 of the most important people in my life.  Friendship is the most important thing and to experience this together made me very happy.  Cristina, you are an amazing and detailed person which made it easy for me to work with you.”

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Celebrate your girlfriends

Have a girls day out with a photo shoot and makeover

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First step to Love

Since this is the month of LOVE, I would like to kick start it with a portrait reveal of someone who took their first step to love.
Self Love.

I believe it is impossible to love someone else or to care for someone else until you really love who YOU are –

EVERY aspect.

Of course this is not easy. Maybe it’s not achievable in one day, one week or ONE month. Maybe you need a year for this or even twenty. This is your journey of self discovery, self acceptance and self love.

Take this journey.

It starts here.

 
She is creative writer for the movie industry and also art history and civilisation, as well as a conference interpreter. She’s truly a free spirit and as been living all over the world. I have asked her to describe our experience together and she surprised me with this:

 

“A rewarding moment was that day of the shooting, when she woke up and saw her again in the mirror:

 

The person she got to see every morning in that same mirror became now her best friend.
For so many years she’s been talking to her: She didn’t hear her.
She didn’t talk with her: She was lost in words.
Those words were him, her love, who carried himself to become themselves.
Her best friend was created by fate.
Fate created the woman she became.
The person in the mirror is her words, the echo of her best friend’s name.
Twenty years were all she needed to come to this photo session with her best friend.
Perhaps it is a short period of time, or not, but that is all she was.
The woman in the mirror and the images, revealed herself to her.
And now all she sees, are words revealed as herself in a visible impression as poetry:

 

She.

She got dressed with a colourful palette of desires and thoughts;
travelled by plane, boat, and her eyes together with his.
She got naked under Amsterdam’s skies thinking of their eyes.
They travelled, they lived, they kissed, they loved.
Today she lives like a river in his forest, she is water in his soul.
She travels in his body to find herself eternal in his ocean in images that captured her best friend,
the one he loves.”

 

 

 

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What a gift for Valentines

Celebrate yourself

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Raise your daughter’s self esteem

What would you say to your younger self, the insecure teen girl that is complexed by her looks and lets that affect her life experience. Would you have found a way to let her know how beautiful she is ? To stop worrying about her appearance ? How would you raise your daughter’s self esteem?
In a world dominated by media, fashion and stereotypes, our teens grow up with the wrong belief about themselves, that they are not beautiful.

When I first talked to this girl, all I could notice was how beautiful she is. Yet to my surprise, her opinion about herself was completely different.

What would you say to this cute, pretty girl that spent half of her life hating her appearance and considering her freckles to be her greatest disadvantage?

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 Well, there was nothing I could have told her to change a life worth of negativity towards herself, and I decided I have to show her instead. I invited her to a photoshoot and she finally accepted.

This is Olia, 23 years old, daughter, girlfriend, best friend, linguistics student, passionate about languages, history, neurobiology, piano but also makeup, fashion and beauty in general.

“From childhood age I seemed to be a natural extrovert, who all the time shared ideas, emotions and feelings with her world around. However, under the outer happiness, there was always hiding an enormously sensitive person with crooked perception about her appearance. Years of underestimating myself passed until I realised, that my freckles are my gift, that feature that will always make me unique.
During my experience with Cristina, I was a bit shy in the beginning and felt quite insecure, but she created a very relaxing and friendly atmosphere so that I could just be myself without any artificial postures and facial expressions. She admired my face, my behaviour and I totally relaxed and acted like a real model. Throughout our photo shoot I revealed my inner beauty and forgot about all the diffidence and fears about my appearance and I guess the main thing is that after our creative experiment I understood that the more you accept your appearance and remove all stereotypes imposed by society, media, especially fashion, the more harmonic you feel with your outer and inner spaces.”

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The greatest gift your daughter can get

Show her how beautiful she is

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How do you see yourself ?

How do you see yourself ?

Allison from DailyOutfit has been a long time supporter of me and my business endeavours. She was first a strong believer in me, while I was working at my 123dressme project, and then, when I decided to move on and start this new genre in photography, Glamour Portraits, she became my biggest ambassador and one of my first clients. I feel I am so lucky to have such beautiful humans like her by my side, their support is invaluable. When I grow up, I will return the favour to the universe and support and mentor younger girls, because I really do think these people are godsend. This is what Allison had to say after our session together, it was interesting to me to see how she sees herself and how I see her, depicted in portraits.

“When I said yes, I thought I was doing Cristina a favor.  If she was going in a new direction with her photography, I was going to support her!  I certainly didn’t think I needed this for myself.

What surprised me was how much the session did for me, for my confidence, and for the way I see myself.   Not only were the images she created beautiful, they allowed me to see a whole other side of myself that I thought I knew, but had never really claimed.

Cristina told me it was an experience.  She designed it as an opportunity for any woman to get in touch with her glamorous side.  But, really, I didn’t think that was an issue for me.  I’m a stylist!

I was wrong.

The experience was transformational.

First of all, who knew modeling is so difficult?

It takes concentration, physical stamina and total focus. It’s like yoga, except you also want to look good!

Luckily, Cristina coached me through the whole thing.  I relaxed with her and got into the swing of it.  She’s amazing:  kind and encouraging.

It was unlike any other photo shoot I’ve experienced.

Of course, models and actresses do this all the time — and they don’t get that kind of support.  It’s their job.  It was fascinating to experience the poses and facial expressions they wield for myself.

More importantly, I have a whole other level of respect for it.  We all struggle with expectations of perfection and beauty.  Much of this struggle comes from amazing images like these.

What most of us don’t understand is the preparation and work that goes into creating high fashion images.  Once I experienced it for myself, I immediately understood on a visceral level how these images are created.

And yet, for the first time, these images allowed me to see my body as beautiful.  And seeing is believing.

For example, take a look at this photo to the left.  I look slender and curvy at the same time.  My waist and bust look perfect.  The funny thing is, I know this is the pose.  But, I also know it is actually me.

Not that I’m going to walk around like this; no one could.  But, if this is actually me, what happens to all that struggle with all those expectations?

I can just put those to rest.  Done and sorted!  What a gift.

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“Working the camera” is not just a phrase; it’s a skill set. Some of my sisters have teased me (lovingly or not so lovingly, depending on their mood) that I “always” look good in photos. It’s not actually true.But, I did learn early on how to simply look at the camera and smile. It brings your ratio of good shots to bad shots WAY up.

Take the image to the right. I don’t always look this good, but it is totally me. It’s my smile, the photo looks natural — and it is!

This shot has become my new head shot.

It’s on my website banner and in my marketing. It expresses who I am and who I want to be:  for my clients, my friends and myself.  Fun, compassionate AND stylish.

But, it’s not the shot that inspired me the most from this shoot OR the one that taught me the most about myself OR about high fashion.

There are so many elements to women and to beautiful femininity. I am proud to bring it out in my portraits. I work to bring out different sides of people for different purposes, or for different types of women – it really depends on my model. Women are so powerful, dramatic and natural, it all deserves to be seen. I want everyone to be able to see the beautiful, natural, confident woman in us all.

Because taking a high-fashion shot is totally different. It’s actually not about the smile at all.Why do so many famous women look younger than the rest of us?  It’s not just the Botox and air-brushing. In these shots, I’m not making any wrinkles!

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the forehead, the mouth, the eyes — and you’ll see my face is totally relaxed.

I look about 20.  But really?  I’m 43 and I’ve had two children!

My daughter said, “Mommy, are these photos of you when you were much younger?”

I laughed and responded, “No, sweetie, this is how I can look right now.  I just have to be very relaxed.”

After I went through the shoot, I felt I had learned so much about myself and fashion, I didn’t even feel the need to see the photos!  The experience itself had had an amazing result.

But, I’m not gonna lie — the reveal was incredible.  I couldn’t believe the images Cristina had created.

Here is, as Oprah says, my best self — beautiful, strong, fabulous, sexy, stylish and confident

This is who I am — in my imagination.

But there I am — in a photograph.

I am so happy I said yes to this shoot.  Turns out?  It was a favor to myself.

Sometimes, it takes courage to step into your own power.

Thanks to Cristina, all I need to do is look at this image to know I already have!”

 

 

 

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Design your glamour experience

Are you ready to start this journey together

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Mother and Daughter Day

The mother and daughter relationship is the biggest there is, the biggest bond. It has a powerful connection that goes beyond words and physics.
Scientists say: “Each of us takes in at a cellular level how our mother feels about being female, what she believes about her body, how she takes care of her health, and what she believes is possible in life.” (Dr. Christiane Northrup).

 

Spending time with your daughter, creating memories together, will impact the rest of your daughter’s life. “I’m a big believer in mother-daughter time,” Anglicare WA’s Jennie Hannan says. “I think we underestimate how important it is for mums and daughters to do things together in those early years. Doing that builds a foundation that will help you get through adolescence.”  (Karen Fingerman)

 

If there’s something I miss the most while moving to another country to live, is spending quality time with my mother. Even thinking about it now, makes me feel peaceful and full of joy. I can remember her smell and I can feel the way she plays with my hair, the stories she tells me and how mesmerised I am, looking at her. My mum is the most beautiful woman there is, for me.

 

This is why, this year, launching on Mother’s Day, I have designed a session called the Mother and Daughter Day, which allows you to spend time with your loved one, getting pampered in my studio and creating a memory that lasts a lifetime.  You both come in and get your hair and makeup done, while you chat over coffee and snacks. Then, the photoshoot session starts and you get to be yourself and cuddle, kiss, hug in front of the camera. Mother hugs are the best ! At the end, you will both look so gorgeous, that you will want to go out, dining at your favourite restaurant. The photos of yourself will be printed and presented to you on a wall, like an exposition of yourselves. You get to pick the ones you love, these will stay in your family for 100 years.

 

Celebrate your relationships. Create memories that will last. Exist in photos for people who love you.
Bookings and enquiries info@cristinastoian.nl

 

 

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Printing your photos

I love printing my work. It is another dimension of photography that I was missing before I held a print in my hands. In 2010 my mentor in photography, Paul Butterfield, gave me a present. He printed and matted twenty of my iPhone pics. Right then I realised that a photo is so much more than an image on a screen. When you touch a photo, you start understanding the purpose of it. You feel it. It touches you in a deeper way. Now, I make these prints for people and they will look at these for ever. Start printing your photos. It’s so much more powerful than having it on a folder on the computer.

 

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