A mother’s love knows no bounds: spending time with my daughter making memories

A daughter’s love knows no bounds as well, but few can match the love of a mother’s heart. This unbreakable bond between mother and daughter often grows even stronger as the years go by, and no matter how old your child becomes, it will always be one of the strongest relationships in your life. Here are some ideas on how to spend quality time with your mom this weekend, strengthening your bond together while making memories that will last forever.

People are busier than ever before. In today’s society, it seems that families are getting smaller, and parents don’t have as much time to spend with their children as they would like.

It’s not about how much time you spend, but what you do while you are together. Rather than taking your daughter shopping or to a restaurant, go on a hike or camping trip together and make it into an adventure. You’ll both enjoy yourselves far more, and create some great new memories as well.

The joy of spending time with mum while getting your portrait taken.

The woman I work for

One of my first clients and models in front of my camera for this new style of photography I embarked on, was Sunita Changoe.

 

“A versatile woman, who know exactly what she wants. A woman with a modus operandi. Making friends with patience has always been a challenge for her, like she always says: ‘If I knew where patience would be on sale, I’d let you know once I have purchased my own supply.’ Her mission is very clear: teaching everyone in a certain way to get back to the original state of power enabling one to embrace life with a fresh and clear vision. Therefore her vision is a world in which each individual takes and receives space to express his or her soul and thereby contributing value to the whole: life and thereafter.

The woman I work for is inspiring in the way she wishes everybody the best as an individual and as an entrepreneur. Being very social, she already connects the person she just met for the very first time with other people who could make this new acquaintance’s life more valuable.

The woman I work for is continually developing herself. She studies, follows courses so all the facets of her diamond, like she calls her life, are always illuminating and radiant.

People working with or for her know that her openness also has another side. She is very private. ‘In life one is entitled to have space for every aspect of yourself, so also for your family and relatives.’ She calls it her personal retreat. ‘There is no need to travel far, to get to yourself.’ She is spiritual, but knows that her body needs to be grounded: ‘’Released from your body and connected to all.’

Working with her sometimes is considered a serious challenge. Like she has the greatest expression of herself as a goal, she demands the same from the people she works with.

She is very allergic to the word ‘try’, Like Obi Wan Kenobi says: ‘There is no try’ and like her father taught her ‘Either you do it well or don’t do it at all.’ This places her in the category of woman with a ‘no-nonsense’ – mentality. She doesn’t see problems, but challenges to go inwards and shed a light on the valuable treasures one holds for him-/herself and the world.

As soon as I open my laptop I see the woman I work for. The picture was taken by the international photographer Cristina Stoian. She was able to capture her vulnerability, her power, her heritage and her essence at once and created with that her own legacy.

The woman that I work for with all my attention, love and passion, that woman … is me. ”

Cristina Stoian Photographer

 

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Embrace Your True Power

This summer I have photographed a truly inspiring woman, Zelda Hall.  I’ve met her through CRAVE Amsterdam, 7 years ago(!) and we kept in touch via social media. I’ve always admired her as a wise woman of our community as she talks about such important issues in our life.

She’s a psychologist and therapist in Amsterdam. She also gives lectures and workshops internationally.

Her belief is that the task of a therapist is to provide guidance which helps heal the wounds from the past and confirms our own ability to meet the challenges with which life presents us. She offers a safe space to explore with curiosity and compassion that which restricts your freedom to be truly yourself and to lead a joyful and meaningful life.

This November, she and some of her other colleagues will give a workshop in her series: ‘She Who Dares’, series for all women. I invite you to join them, as I think they are few of the authentic, original ‘guides of life’ throughout the city.

Zelda and her colleagues Jane Ridder-Patrick and Faye Blake will be guiding you to gain clarity on:

  • Where did I come from? How has my early life shaped me?
  • What am I aiming for in life?
  • And how are these two things linked? How does my past affect where I am heading in life?

Find info here.

Faye will look at directions in life. What are your desired goals? And how can an understanding of your background help you plot a course to enable you to reach them? Astrological symbolism can help you discover and enhance your reputation. What do you wish to be known for? What will be your legacy? But what happens when you change country? We will also investigate how a change of location can give the opportunity to redirect and refocus your life – especially when it comes to your career.

 

The emotional soil that we were rooted in as children has a profound impact on almost every area of our lives. Were your longings nourished or frustrated? What was encouraged and what was frowned upon? What was most emphasised or suppressed – feelings, ideas, identity or security? We each draw on long tangled threads of our forebears’ experiences and in this session we will explore the tap-root of our ancestral trees to discover the wellspring of our motivations, challenges and approach to the world of achievement.
The world needs women who are unafraid to embrace their true power.

 

Caught between the expectations in our upbringing and the norms of the outside world, staying grounded in our authenticity/integrity can take some doing.

 

As women we may find that simply having a female body leaves us open to all sorts of criticism and demands, and sometimes even traumatic violations.

We may find ourselves abandoning the feminine aspect of our nature to ‘get ahead’.  Whether it is ‘power dressing’ in a pinstripe suit, having voice training to sound more masculine (think Margaret Thatcher) or being cold and heartless to avoid the accusation of being overemotional.

In her workshop, Zelda will look at how to draw strength from our pasts and find the courage to create our futures as we negotiate the world as women while staying fully grounded in our bodies.

 

 Is Femininity a trap ? 

Femininity: The quality of being female; womanliness.
Feminism: The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

– Oxford Dictionary

 

” My notions of femininity and feminism have always existed in the interstices between race and class. Growing up in rural California in the 80s, and like so many of my peers at the time, I had the sky-high, hair-sprayed hair (thank you Aqua Net) and the ringlet perm that was so typical of the era. I wore some serious war paint for a few years….until I got serious about my future. Then it became clear that I would have to leave some things behind if I wanted to be taken seriously and, in my own mind, if I wanted to live true to the principles of feminism.

While my own mother wore no make-up, and god bless her, was and continues to be naturally beautiful (I know we all say this about our mothers, but in my case it really is true!), the image of the ruby-red lipstick wearing Latina was something Hollywood always made sure I was aware of.  Not wanting to be that spitfire stereotype, by the time I fulfilled my childhood dream of going to UC Berkeley, I quickly learned that there were a few no-no´s about my look:

 

  • Make-up? In the bin. Wearing it was succumbing to patriarchal notions of femininity. Besides, people should love you for what you have on the inside and not on the outside.

  •  Beautiful high heels? Toss ´em, another symbol of female subjugation. I became all about the Birkenstocks, flats, and sports shoes (though I didn’t exercise) 

  • Frilly dresses that gave any hint of the female form? Jeans were best but sweats a close runner-up. At one point, I had about 15 pairs of jeans. Dresses? No way. All of us, male and female, were the same and dressed only accentuated societal notions of gender. (And I will never forget a friend offering me a change of clothes when I showed up in my flowery dress…I can only laugh now!)

  • shaved legs and armpits? Natural was the only way to go. 

 

Interesting enough, the only class I took while at UC Berkeley that supported the idea that femininity and feminism could perfectly co-exist was one on Gender! But everything else about being at CAL made clear that my version of femininity was too backward. So I adjusted.

 

 

By the time I hit law school, my dress code was set in stone. I occasionally wore a dress if the situation merited it, and I immediately felt uncomfortable.  So it became permanent: I couldn´t shake the notion that my notion of femininity, as I had experienced it, equated weakness.

 

In the subsequent 15-20 odd years, I married, moved countries, had two children. During that period, my workplaces reflected my attitudes about femininity: jeans acceptable, little if any makeup, plain hair.

 

And amidst all this, in my early 40s, my husband and I had faced a serious crisis. After several years where the highs were incredibly high, and the lows incredibly low, we had become roommates…without benefits. We lived in stone cold silences, only to reconcile with the sweetest of whisperings, with my husband asking me why I was hiding that diamond inside.  Only to find ourselves feeling alone and lonely again a few days later. After seriously considering a divorce, we re-committed to one another.  And each of us set on a path of self-discovery in order to get that spark back (you can read about it on my website here).

 

The result of that emotional re-commitment made each of us face some hard truths about ourselves and about each other. One element for me was discovering that I had, indeed, squelched and smothered a diamond inside. That everything that made me wonderful was there, waiting to be discovered…not by anyone else, but by me. So it was that in my 40s, I began wearing make-up again. I learned how to walk in heels again. I got my first waxing treatment (I can still hear the hair removal specialist’s yelp…that’s another story).  I got my ears pierced at a jewelry store in Indischebuurt, where my very girly friend Ileana was only too happy to hold my hand. (I will forever be grateful to her).

 

Of course, wearing make-up and heels did not make me more feminine: I am a woman, I am feminine (see Oxford definition). I believe in equal rights for woman. I am feminist. But through the entire process, I learned that I don’t need to hide what makes me feel happy and feminine…and that includes rejoicing in my female form. Even Alicia Keys, a supporter of the no makeup movement, said on the Today show, an American morning show, that she has nothing against make-up. “I love make-up too…“It’s about how you feel. It’s about who you are. It’s about being who you are and not being told who you should be. This conversation shows our obsession with the standard we hold women and beauty.” Alicia and I are at the same time having reached the same conclusion. And I no longer buy my story that only makeup-free women are taken seriously. It simply is no longer my story, and I feel liberated. Free. My story is rejoicing in my newfound notions of femininity. And relishing in each and every one of them, high heels (well…2-inch platforms max) and all! And part of that was participating in Cristina Stoian’s amazing project.

That said, I also don’t let it all hang out. But even if I did, the decision to do so would be mine. And that is feminism and femininity at its best.”  Leticia Vasquez

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 Leticia Vasquez is a relationship coach.  She loves helping women to find lifelong romance without repeating themselves incessantly, whether by crying in rage, sulking, silently seething or fighting. Her approach is rooted in mindfulness and consists of six tools that can help any relationship be rooted in calm, peace…and passion. www.leticia-vasquez.com

 

How to Return to Self-Love in 10 Steps

I am asking the women I photograph to tell me about how they feel about themselves. Sometimes they surprise me with poems, other times they teach me the 10 steps to get there.

Here’s Nisa, amazing woman, mother to two beautiful kids, teacher and inspirer of her community. We were discussing the importance of self-love and nurturing yourself and how difficult it is sometimes to return to that after a long time of neglecting yourself. I leave you with her words of wisdom and the portraits that I did for her.

 

“Who am I ?

I am what I am and I love myself !

I’m practicing and preaching: “I am good to myself” by:

 

1- Being on ‘my side’ when no one else is

 

2- Looking for the good in every situation and taking it in

 

3- Seeing the greatness in myself, appreciating all of me

 

4- Slowing down and finding my balance in each situation

 

5- In this journey, learning to say “no” and setting boundaries in love, work or daily activities that I feel could deplete me in some way

 

6- Associating my ‘self’ with joy, doing what brings a smile to my face and meeting people who mirror that state of joy

 

7- Forgiving myself when visiting the past, thinking and addressing nice words to myself – because I’m the only one listening

 

8- Nourishing myself daily through healthy activities, good nutrition and proper sleep and trying to keep my mind in the present

 

9- Protecting my brain from negativity, bad images and hard emotions

 

10- Valuing my own beliefs and ideas, living with intention into a meaningful life that serves me and others

 

“Mirror, mirror on the wall…

 

A reflection of all these in a mirror;  Cristina’s camera. The process of capturing all the beauty of self-love was an empowering experience. Her time and knowledge transcend into this amazing picture which says – I return to love and I accept myself just as I am…. “

 

 

A mother's love knows no bounds: spending time with my daughter making memories

I am asking the women I photograph to tell me about how they feel about themselves. Sometimes they surprise me with poems, other times they teach me the 10 steps to get there. Here’s Nisa, amazing woman, mother to two beautiful kids, teacher and inspirer of her community. We were discussing the importance of self-love […]

Read More

The portrait of a dancer

I am asking the women I photograph to tell me about how they feel about themselves. Sometimes they surprise me with poems, other times they teach me the 10 steps to get there. Here’s Nisa, amazing woman, mother to two beautiful kids, teacher and inspirer of her community. We were discussing the importance of self-love […]

Read More

The woman I work for

I am asking the women I photograph to tell me about how they feel about themselves. Sometimes they surprise me with poems, other times they teach me the 10 steps to get there. Here’s Nisa, amazing woman, mother to two beautiful kids, teacher and inspirer of her community. We were discussing the importance of self-love […]

Read More

Embrace Your True Power

I am asking the women I photograph to tell me about how they feel about themselves. Sometimes they surprise me with poems, other times they teach me the 10 steps to get there. Here’s Nisa, amazing woman, mother to two beautiful kids, teacher and inspirer of her community. We were discussing the importance of self-love […]

Read More

Galentine’s Day

I was mentioning last time that the first step to love is, self love.
Well, I continue here with the next step.
This one is easier and fun: Love your girlfriends.

 

Acknowledge and celebrate your girlfriends! They are your support system. They are there for you. They hold you when you are low and they are there to celebrate your little and big successes.

 

Idea: Throw a Galentine’s Day party for your close girl friends.

 

It will fill your heart with joy to prepare it, and announce it and will definitely create a big sensation in your gal group.

 

Three women walked into my studio excited and ready to spend a whole day together. One of them was celebrating 40 years on this planet and she decided to do something special this year to mark her anniversary.

 

I advised them on their outfits and accessories, told them to book a restaurant for afterwards, since they’re going to look gorgeous and make it a girl’s day out.

 

Weeks later, armed with their jolly spirits, they made their appearance bearing heaps of cool dresses and jewellery, and were ready to get pampered for the day.

 

I’ll leave you with an impression of the day and some of their quotes, some behind the scenes and their lovely photos.

 

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“It was a very special experience of feeling beautiful and discovering new facets of myself.” 

 

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“I really enjoyed the day at your studio, with getting styled and put into poses that I had never done before.”IMG_3897

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“When I saw the photos for the first time I thought to myself, <<Wow and yes, that’s me too!>>”

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“I started to develop a new vision of myself. This process is not yet finished but seeing the photos added another important element.”

 

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“I enjoyed spending this day with 2 of the most important people in my life.  Friendship is the most important thing and to experience this together made me very happy.  Cristina, you are an amazing and detailed person which made it easy for me to work with you.”

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Celebrate your girlfriends

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It’s ok to be beautiful

In our quest through this wonderful thing called life, we somehow manage to forget ourselves.

We care for everyone else in the family and we put ourselves last.

 

 

When was the last time you were pampered and put yourself first for a change? Taking time to disconnect or taking time to not be the mother, daughter, wife, friend or partner…

How long since you’ve really paid attention to how you look or feel?

With the Christmas holidays approaching, it’s time to unwind and slow down, to get back to yourself and reflect. 

 

How do you want to feel?

 

It’s ok to want to feel beautiful. Maybe it’s been a while. 

It’s ok to want to feel appreciated. Has it been too long since somebody noticed?

It’s ok to want to be loved. Do you get that attention that you desire?

 

I have a little secret for you – It starts with yourself. From, within. 

 

Do you notice yourself?

Do you give yourself attention?

Do you believe you deserve to have that attention?

 

This is the time to reflect, sit quietly and look back at a full year. Breathe. Were you good to yourself ?

 

I give you permission.

If no one else does, I will.

I give you permission to feel beautiful, feminine, gracious, fabulous! 

 

 This New Year, let’s celebrate beauty, together.

 

These are the brave women that celebrated beauty this year. I congratulate you and wish you put yourself on a pedestal every day.

 

 

cristina-stoian-4-969x650lonieke_cristinastoian006_MG_9588cristina-stoian-10-969x650cristina-stoian-7-969x650cristinastoian_3MG_9349-EditIMG_6428 cristina-stoian-portraits-_-athalie-4CristinaStoian23There are so many elements to women and to beautiful femininity. I am proud to bring it out in my portraits. I work to bring out different sides of people for different purposes, or for different types of women – it really depends on my model. Women are so powerful, dramatic and natural, it all deserves to be seen. I want everyone to be able to see the beautiful, natural, confident woman in us all.IMG_4924IMG_4577IMG_0974_MG_1968-web-size_signed colourIMG_5064_MG_0493-copycristina-stoian-portraits-_-athalie-1Cristina-Stoian-Portrait-Photographer 22IMG_6914

You are beautiful

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How do you see yourself ?

How do you see yourself ?

Allison from DailyOutfit has been a long time supporter of me and my business endeavours. She was first a strong believer in me, while I was working at my 123dressme project, and then, when I decided to move on and start this new genre in photography, Glamour Portraits, she became my biggest ambassador and one of my first clients. I feel I am so lucky to have such beautiful humans like her by my side, their support is invaluable. When I grow up, I will return the favour to the universe and support and mentor younger girls, because I really do think these people are godsend. This is what Allison had to say after our session together, it was interesting to me to see how she sees herself and how I see her, depicted in portraits.

“When I said yes, I thought I was doing Cristina a favor.  If she was going in a new direction with her photography, I was going to support her!  I certainly didn’t think I needed this for myself.

What surprised me was how much the session did for me, for my confidence, and for the way I see myself.   Not only were the images she created beautiful, they allowed me to see a whole other side of myself that I thought I knew, but had never really claimed.

Cristina told me it was an experience.  She designed it as an opportunity for any woman to get in touch with her glamorous side.  But, really, I didn’t think that was an issue for me.  I’m a stylist!

I was wrong.

The experience was transformational.

First of all, who knew modeling is so difficult?

It takes concentration, physical stamina and total focus. It’s like yoga, except you also want to look good!

Luckily, Cristina coached me through the whole thing.  I relaxed with her and got into the swing of it.  She’s amazing:  kind and encouraging.

It was unlike any other photo shoot I’ve experienced.

Of course, models and actresses do this all the time — and they don’t get that kind of support.  It’s their job.  It was fascinating to experience the poses and facial expressions they wield for myself.

More importantly, I have a whole other level of respect for it.  We all struggle with expectations of perfection and beauty.  Much of this struggle comes from amazing images like these.

What most of us don’t understand is the preparation and work that goes into creating high fashion images.  Once I experienced it for myself, I immediately understood on a visceral level how these images are created.

And yet, for the first time, these images allowed me to see my body as beautiful.  And seeing is believing.

For example, take a look at this photo to the left.  I look slender and curvy at the same time.  My waist and bust look perfect.  The funny thing is, I know this is the pose.  But, I also know it is actually me.

Not that I’m going to walk around like this; no one could.  But, if this is actually me, what happens to all that struggle with all those expectations?

I can just put those to rest.  Done and sorted!  What a gift.

portrait Cristina Stoian

“Working the camera” is not just a phrase; it’s a skill set. Some of my sisters have teased me (lovingly or not so lovingly, depending on their mood) that I “always” look good in photos. It’s not actually true.But, I did learn early on how to simply look at the camera and smile. It brings your ratio of good shots to bad shots WAY up.

Take the image to the right. I don’t always look this good, but it is totally me. It’s my smile, the photo looks natural — and it is!

This shot has become my new head shot.

It’s on my website banner and in my marketing. It expresses who I am and who I want to be:  for my clients, my friends and myself.  Fun, compassionate AND stylish.

But, it’s not the shot that inspired me the most from this shoot OR the one that taught me the most about myself OR about high fashion.

There are so many elements to women and to beautiful femininity. I am proud to bring it out in my portraits. I work to bring out different sides of people for different purposes, or for different types of women – it really depends on my model. Women are so powerful, dramatic and natural, it all deserves to be seen. I want everyone to be able to see the beautiful, natural, confident woman in us all.

Because taking a high-fashion shot is totally different. It’s actually not about the smile at all.Why do so many famous women look younger than the rest of us?  It’s not just the Botox and air-brushing. In these shots, I’m not making any wrinkles!

IMG_4073Look closely –

the forehead, the mouth, the eyes — and you’ll see my face is totally relaxed.

I look about 20.  But really?  I’m 43 and I’ve had two children!

My daughter said, “Mommy, are these photos of you when you were much younger?”

I laughed and responded, “No, sweetie, this is how I can look right now.  I just have to be very relaxed.”

After I went through the shoot, I felt I had learned so much about myself and fashion, I didn’t even feel the need to see the photos!  The experience itself had had an amazing result.

But, I’m not gonna lie — the reveal was incredible.  I couldn’t believe the images Cristina had created.

Here is, as Oprah says, my best self — beautiful, strong, fabulous, sexy, stylish and confident

This is who I am — in my imagination.

But there I am — in a photograph.

I am so happy I said yes to this shoot.  Turns out?  It was a favor to myself.

Sometimes, it takes courage to step into your own power.

Thanks to Cristina, all I need to do is look at this image to know I already have!”

 

 

 

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It’s Magic

There’s a magic that happens in the studio after the hair and makeup is done and we start shooting. It’s hard to explain it, it’s a connection between me and my model, it’s a click that happens in our eyes, I feel it in my belly and it’s so strong that it gives me energy for the whole shoot. It’s a magic moment that happens around outfit number two, when the client relaxes and starts trusting me completely. I see it over and over again. It’s beautiful and so addictive !

Cristina Stoian Portraits

Cristina Stoian Portraits