On October 9th, I’m hosting a fundraiser for The Malala Foundation.
I am bringing you 6 coaches (including myself) who are all donating their time to create a memorable, enriching, and fun day to celebrate the mother-daughter bond.
The project is in partnership with our beautiful location, The Hoxton Amsterdam.
If you are lucky enough to be a mother to a teen daughter, join us!
If not, I hope you will share this with your friends who are mothers or grandmothers.
I can now say that I have heard every excuse you can imagine for women not to step in front of the camera.
I’m not good enough
I don’t look good on camera
I need to lose weight before you take photos of me
I HATE having my photo taken
I look old nowadays…
During the last years photographing women, I discovered some patterns women have in common before they decide to have their portrait taken. It is always the same and always baffles me. I do understand it, as I am a woman too, and I wished I can make a difference about it. I will discuss it here, because I think women need to get over it.
1) I need to lose 25 kilos before I can have my portrait shot taken
I have been saying that since I was 25. Each year I felt I do not look good enough now. I am too chubby to appear in photos. I had an image in my head about how I was supposed to look based on how I looked at 14. so I always felt I need to lose weight…and guess what, it never happens. I never manage to lose 25 kilos. why ? because I draw myself nearly impossible targets to achieve and then fail and feel bad about it. If I look back at my photos now since when I was 25, I think to myself, I was insane back then. There’s no way I did not look beautiful. and still, inside of me, there was always this little voice that said.. “you don’t look good enough”… do you recognise that?
My solution: I started taking selfies of myself when I turned 28. I’ve created myself a Path account and I’ve only shared it with myself. I have taken photos of me every single week… for 2 years. In each photo, I was trying to show myself in a “beautiful light”. So I learned about posing and lighting. I noticed how my mood changed my photos always, so if I was pleased that day, the photos would look radiant… This helped me improve the image I had about myself… and then.. even to lose weight. When I did not think as much about the weight, but as how can I look more beautiful in my next photo, I did miraculously lose 8 kilos. Because 8-10 was really more realistic…
2) What can I do with a portrait
Why do I need a portrait, you must wonder yourself as I did for many years. I was taking photos of other people and never occurred to me that I should get one too. And when I did, I realised why. It is such an incredible gift to yourself. To see yourself the way you are. To be able to show the world who you are. To be able to hold yourself in a printed photo and really admire yourself. It is something so powerful, beyond words. It is something that makes you want to appreciate yourself more and be kind to yourself. It is an experience that touches your soul in powerful ways and changes you. Once you know why you want it, you will surely know what to do with it. Tips here.
3) I am not ready for this
Imagine yourself travelling to a foreign country by yourself. How does it feel? Do you like the fact that there is no person to drag you from your path and you can see whatever you like to see and go wherever you like to go? Does it feel like freedom to be able to choose what to do next?
In my photoshoots, I strive to give you the same feeling. We are designing this shoot together, but really you are the one in charge of this journey. It is a journey for you to discover yourself. I am providing the tools you need for you to shine through. The real you will shine through. The one that you used to be and now you forgot, the goddess you sometimes felt but now not anymore.
4) I’m too old to have my portrait taken
Nearly all women that come to me ask me: can you make me look more young in the photos? Is there some special light you can use so my wrinkles do not get seen?
Yes! your inner special light! Age has nothing to do with your inner light. When your inner light shines, wrinkles have nothing on you. You are more than your body, your skin or your wrinkles. You are now more powerful, witty, deserving. I feel in awe of you and you should be too. Let’s show the world exactly how beautiful you are!
5) I am not pretty enough
I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not pretty, I’m not good looking. I hear this over and over again…. and yet.. you are! I see the light shining in your eyes when I talk about your passion, I see your face lighting up when I talk about your family. I see you sparkling when I ask you about your loved one. So why not shine when I talk about you? Why not allow me to show you how beautiful you really are, who I really see when I look at you. If I could only show you how you are in front of my camera, you will change the way you look at yourself… and it’s an experience you won’t forget!
…and you. miss… reading this. feeling safe behind your computer. what stops you from having your portrait taken? Let me know in the comments below.
Portraits for me, speak about self- love and loving your body.
So many women struggle with their image, as we are judged on impossible standards of appearance.
This insecurity is passed from generation to generation. This is why it is so important to teach your daughter to love herself now, the way she is. The message is: “I love myself, therefore my daughter loves herself.”
In my practice as a photographer, I offer a ‘mother-daughter day’, so when Allison asked me to be a ‘selfie advisor’ for this event for mothers-and daughters, it felt that I should be part of it. I knew I could pass on some fun tips about photography and also help mothers start a conversation about self-love with their teens.
A new study says that girls (65%) feel increasing pressures from advertising and media to reach an unrealistic standard of beauty. This is the key force in driving their appearance anxiety.
Low body-esteem is causing the majority of women (85%) and girls (79%) to opt out of important life activities – such as trying out for a team or club, and engaging with family or loved ones – when they don’t feel good about the way they look.
Additionally, 7 in 10 girls with low body-esteem say they won’t be assertive in their opinion or stick to their decision if they aren’t happy with the way they look, while 9 out of 10! (87%) women will stop themselves from eating or will otherwise put their health at risk.
“This latest research shows that low body confidence is a global issue,” says Dr Nancy Etcoff of Harvard Medical School.
This is why we need to empower our girls now, increasing body – confidence education.
We can start by having meaningful conversations around the body – image, how they perceive their own appearance.
I had a girl in my studio the other day, she was so beautiful, my heart was melting, but she stayed so serious the whole shoot. I realized while photographing her, she was uncomfortable with her teeth, so she avoided smiling. It took a lot to make her smile and she was only 7!!
Our own perceptions of ourselves start so early, it is important to educate our girls in the right direction. Make the first step. Come to our shoot and we’ll start a conversation while taking portraits.
Enjoy this mother-daughter day and portrait reveal of this beautiful mother-daughter pair.
I have been in a celebratory mode lately.
Summer is here, flowers are in bloom, sun shines high.
Me and my husbands’ 5 years anniversary happened, and we celebrated it in style. My husbands’ birthday happens to be at the same time, we had a double anniversary. Holidays are near.
Being in this mood, I seemed to attract clients that celebrate their birthdays with a photoshoot. What an honor for me to partake to this wonderful celebration. Life is to be celebrated. Don’t let those special moments pass without marking it.
Last month I had Veronica in my studio, a gorgeous Paraguayan woman with Russian roots, architect, wife, lover of life and Amsterdam. She decided to mark her last day of her 20’s with a photoshoot. A gift to herself.
This is what she said about our Glamour Experience.
“It was a wonderful experience, I discovered I love a side of myself I felt insecure about. The photo shoot made me feel comfortable with myself.
I was amazed, I couldn’t recognise myself in some pictures and now I feel more confident. I would definitely recommend this experience, it met and exceeded my expectations.”
Last week I had the crew from NL Supervrouwen TV documenting my team and I for their Me-Time Program. They sent over a gorgeous woman, Sonya Dias, to participate in the Glamour Experience and then share her thoughts about it.
This initiative belongs to Wendy Broersen – she is starting a new online TV program where she talks about women entrepreneurs and their journey; super-women, as she calls them. Some of the names she has interviewed so far are: Ariane Inden, Genevieve van Meerburg, Marielle Sijgers and Louise Beduwe.
I love the idea and the female energy around this. It reminds me of my time being a partner at CRAVE, where we published a book of women entrepreneurs and made an online directory full of awesome businesses, owned by women.
The day went by fast and I was nervous having to talk in front of the camera, having to manage everyone and keep the energy high. Sony was a super-star, she managed to focus and actually relax into it and enjoy the experience fully.
Here are some behind the scenes made by amazing photographer Teresa Hulst from California Girl (CG).
Make-up by: Lorena Ciubotaru
Styling/Art Direction: California Girl (CG)
Photographer : Cristina Stoian Portraits
Model: Sonya Dias
Here’s the Me-time video that went on to NL Supervrouwen TV.
And here are my photos that I took of Sonya.
In her real life Sonya is an amazing speaker and presentor, she comes from Cape Verde and lives in Rotterdam. She is so enthusiastic and full of energy, she filled up the whole room with her smile. I photographer her in her capeverdian feather designer dress and various colourful national accessories. She’s magnificent to watch.
Enjoy her beautiful photos!
Every year I go back home to visit my parents, at least once or twice. It is my get-away from day to day life. I enjoy going back to a safe place where everything feels familiar.
In a way it’s like returning back to the past.
It’s a moment of reflection and deeper discovery of who I am.
I reconnect to the things I used to like and discover I still like them; like gardening, smelling roses, being back in nature and shopping with my mum.
Do you know that feeling? Where everything around you reminds you of some distant memory and every smell brings you back to your childhood.
It is a special moment, when I allow myself to be the daughter again, forgetting about my other chores and stresses in my life.
Making rose jam with my mum… mmm, bliss..
I spend time with my parents and appreciate them being around me, feeling their love, listening to their words.
I understand so much more about myself watching them: what drives me and pushes me forward, why I like the things I like, remembering my old dreams and making new ones together.
How can I stop time? So I can appreciate it for longer.
The only way I know, of course is by taking photos.
It is printed in my DNA, my second nature, it feels so natural.
How about you? How would you like to preserve these moments in time and keep the celebration going?
I’ve been fascinated lately with the trend in the media, photographs of stylish seniors, documenting their mature, chic and fabulous personalities.
It has been a secret desire of mine to photograph someone 50+ & Fabulous. I was already imagining how I would style it and photograph it and not too long after, my wish came true and everything that I thought it would be, it happened!
I have photographed Caroline Waanders, a spiritual coach from Nijeberkoop. She is an empath, using her wisdom to help companies and individuals in their development.
Caroline dreams of a world where everyone is and develops their authentic self, a world where people start using their unique personal power to achieve their goals and they live by their heart and soul. How beautiful is that!
She is a phenomenal woman.
During her photoshoot, her confidence and charm exuded and made my work with her – easy. I had a lot of fun photographing her and her step daughter and also the little dog Tara, which came along in the shoot as her +1.
I will leave you with the pictures and a behind the scenes video of them.
Since Holland is in Holiday mode today, I thought I would take a day off from my newsletter too!
I am all about celebrations and time off and feel they are an important aspect in my life.
With this said, I want to thank you for being here and give you a moment to catchup with me.
This is a list of what I have written so far, since the beginning of this wonderful blogging journey.
With the Liberation Day in mind, I want to set you free, please go ahead and unsubscribe if you feel that this newsletter does not serve you well.
If it does, can you think of one friend that might benefit from it, go ahead and forward this email to them.
I would appreciate that.
Thank you! Thank you ! Thank you ! and enjoy this lovely holiday!
This beginning of spring was all about introspection for me.
I had countless of hours of editing in my studio, so lots of time for reflection.
Questions like “How did I get here ?”, “Why am I doing this ?” ran through my head.
3 weeks into editing and one energy reading later, I realised my payoff “Connect Back to Yourself” is a mantra for me.
I’ve been far from myself for a long time and this portrait business, I finally realise, I do it for myself, to heal myself. If I heal other people in the process, which happens often, I’m double happy. It is quite some realisation!
I was running a business before, that brought me to unexpected places. Places I never thought I could get to, by myself. I was pushing myself so far away out of my comfort zone, that at some moment I drifted away from who I was and it did not feel like fun any more.
For that reason, I feel the need to self analyse, so I know I’m completely happy with what I’m doing, so I don’t get tangled into a ‘not so fun’ situation anymore. If I don’t hear in my head a joyful “hell yes”, I won’t do it. That goes with anything in my life right now.
Does that sound familiar ? Are you asking yourself these questions every year?
It is time to renew my vows with myself and check if everything’s aligned.
I wanted more fun in my life, so I decided to get surrounded by girls and do girlie things, like put on makeup and nice dresses, that’s the most fun I could think of, at that moment. It still is :) connecting to my feminine side and acting from that spot – is what I try to do every day.
I wanted to stop taking things so serious, so I changed my focus from business to personal. I used to do things that you “need to have” and now I do things that are in the “nice to have” category. Eg. I was doing linkedin profile shots before and now I’m doing glamour inspired portraits that will last 100 years, what a shift and it feels so good!
I wanted to connect with people and feel I am part of the community. Being an entrepreneur, it seldom feels like being alone, on an island. So I joined groups of photographers and women, online and offline, eventually I started my own group about self love and body image. The 52 Selfie Challenge. I love it, it’s growing, women post a selfie every week, the love and support of women around is unbelievable. We’re all one, support, help and nurture is what we do best. I will gladly accept you in the group if you like.
I wanted to feel pure, clear in my essence, close to myself. I decided to ditch all the other types of photography I was doing, like events or corporate shoots and concentrate on what I love the most, and that is portraiture, it comes natural to me and it also inspires me. It puts me into this great creative space where I have to think about how am going to photograph you, create mood boards with you, get creative with fabrics, paint canvases, etc.
I wanted to feel joy and connect to my emotional side. Which as a creative person and also a woman, there’s plenty of that going on inside, isn’t there ? But somehow I was ignoring it in my work, trying to be all entrepreneur and masculine about it. I’ve added the “Reveal Wall”, in my portraiture business, a little something that gives me so much joy. To see my clients seeing their photos for the first time, like in a gallery of themselves. It is an emotional experience and deep connection. Through the reveal wall, I let them know that I see them that beautiful, and they start crying. Maybe they haven’t felt that in a while or maybe nobody noticed recently. It is empowering and healing.
…Am I saving the world ? there’s that need that I have in myself too. I know, the Messiah complex, they’re calling it. This took me a long time to figure out. Is it shallow, what I am doing ? I’m not finding any cure for cancer, I’m not feeding any hungry kids. This is what took me longer to realise …absolutely I’m saving the world, one woman at a time. I’m helping women feel beautiful… this is my mission and it is amazing. It lifts me up in the morning knowing that I will make one more woman feel beautiful today.
It is the biggest gift I can give you and I am so happy to do so. If what I’m making for you makes you happy even for a second, my mission is accomplished. I’m doing my little part for the world.
Now that I know what I’m doing is inline with my core values, I know it is going to be satisfying for me, and in turn, for you too. “Do something with the joy of a little child that feeds a hungry duck in the park”, Marshall Rosenberg used to say, the mamnoon energy, life’s too short to give out of any other energy.
.. so my work lately was inwards, now I’m ready to come out and play and with spring here, I’ll be more active socially. I have also finished the clients work that I have had so far, from winter and I am looking forward to the new ones!
Come visit me at my studio! I have open doors for you & free coffee.
Let’s discuss your inner desires for your next photoshoot and see if this is something you would like to do.
I am asking the women I photograph to tell me about how they feel about themselves. Sometimes they surprise me with poems, other times they teach me the 10 steps to get there.
Here’s Nisa, amazing woman, mother to two beautiful kids, teacher and inspirer of her community. We were discussing the importance of self-love and nurturing yourself and how difficult it is sometimes to return to that after a long time of neglecting yourself. I leave you with her words of wisdom and the portraits that I did for her.
“Who am I ?
I am what I am and I love myself !
I’m practicing and preaching: “I am good to myself” by:
1- Being on ‘my side’ when no one else is
2- Looking for the good in every situation and taking it in
3- Seeing the greatness in myself, appreciating all of me
4- Slowing down and finding my balance in each situation
5- In this journey, learning to say “no” and setting boundaries in love, work or daily activities that I feel could deplete me in some way
6- Associating my ‘self’ with joy, doing what brings a smile to my face and meeting people who mirror that state of joy
7- Forgiving myself when visiting the past, thinking and addressing nice words to myself – because I’m the only one listening
8- Nourishing myself daily through healthy activities, good nutrition and proper sleep and trying to keep my mind in the present
9- Protecting my brain from negativity, bad images and hard emotions
10- Valuing my own beliefs and ideas, living with intention into a meaningful life that serves me and others
“Mirror, mirror on the wall…
A reflection of all these in a mirror; Cristina’s camera. The process of capturing all the beauty of self-love was an empowering experience. Her time and knowledge transcend into this amazing picture which says – I return to love and I accept myself just as I am…. “
A daughter’s love knows no bounds as well, but few can match the love of a mother’s heart. This unbreakable bond between mother and daughter often grows even stronger as the years go by, and no matter how old your child becomes, it will always be one of the strongest relationships in your life. Here […]
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One of my first clients and models in front of my camera for this new style of photography I embarked on, was Sunita Changoe. “A versatile woman, who know exactly what she wants. A woman with a modus operandi. Making friends with patience has always been a challenge for her, like she always says: […]
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This summer I have photographed a truly inspiring woman, Zelda Hall. I’ve met her through CRAVE Amsterdam, 7 years ago(!) and we kept in touch via social media. I’ve always admired her as a wise woman of our community as she talks about such important issues in our life. She’s a psychologist and therapist in Amsterdam. […]
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