by Cristina Stoian

Embrace Your True Power

This summer I have photographed a truly inspiring woman, Zelda Hall.  I’ve met her through CRAVE Amsterdam, 7 years ago(!) and we kept in touch via social media. I’ve always admired her as a wise woman of our community as she talks about such important issues in our life.

She’s a psychologist and therapist in Amsterdam. She also gives lectures and workshops internationally.

Her belief is that the task of a therapist is to provide guidance which helps heal the wounds from the past and confirms our own ability to meet the challenges with which life presents us. She offers a safe space to explore with curiosity and compassion that which restricts your freedom to be truly yourself and to lead a joyful and meaningful life.

This November, she and some of her other colleagues will give a workshop in her series: ‘She Who Dares’, series for all women. I invite you to join them, as I think they are few of the authentic, original ‘guides of life’ throughout the city.

Zelda and her colleagues Jane Ridder-Patrick and Faye Blake will be guiding you to gain clarity on:

  • Where did I come from? How has my early life shaped me?
  • What am I aiming for in life?
  • And how are these two things linked? How does my past affect where I am heading in life?

Find info here.

Faye will look at directions in life. What are your desired goals? And how can an understanding of your background help you plot a course to enable you to reach them? Astrological symbolism can help you discover and enhance your reputation. What do you wish to be known for? What will be your legacy? But what happens when you change country? We will also investigate how a change of location can give the opportunity to redirect and refocus your life – especially when it comes to your career.

 

The emotional soil that we were rooted in as children has a profound impact on almost every area of our lives. Were your longings nourished or frustrated? What was encouraged and what was frowned upon? What was most emphasised or suppressed – feelings, ideas, identity or security? We each draw on long tangled threads of our forebears’ experiences and in this session we will explore the tap-root of our ancestral trees to discover the wellspring of our motivations, challenges and approach to the world of achievement.
The world needs women who are unafraid to embrace their true power.

 

Caught between the expectations in our upbringing and the norms of the outside world, staying grounded in our authenticity/integrity can take some doing.

 

As women we may find that simply having a female body leaves us open to all sorts of criticism and demands, and sometimes even traumatic violations.

We may find ourselves abandoning the feminine aspect of our nature to ‘get ahead’.  Whether it is ‘power dressing’ in a pinstripe suit, having voice training to sound more masculine (think Margaret Thatcher) or being cold and heartless to avoid the accusation of being overemotional.

In her workshop, Zelda will look at how to draw strength from our pasts and find the courage to create our futures as we negotiate the world as women while staying fully grounded in our bodies.

 

in Amsterdam / My muses 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

 Is Femininity a trap ?  

Femininity: The quality of being female; womanliness.
Feminism: The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

– Oxford Dictionary

 

” My notions of femininity and feminism have always existed in the interstices between race and class. Growing up in rural California in the 80s, and like so many of my peers at the time, I had the sky-high, hair-sprayed hair (thank you Aqua Net) and the ringlet perm that was so typical of the era. I wore some serious war paint for a few years….until I got serious about my future. Then it became clear that I would have to leave some things behind if I wanted to be taken seriously and, in my own mind, if I wanted to live true to the principles of feminism.

While my own mother wore no make-up, and god bless her, was and continues to be naturally beautiful (I know we all say this about our mothers, but in my case it really is true!), the image of the ruby-red lipstick wearing Latina was something Hollywood always made sure I was aware of.  Not wanting to be that spitfire stereotype, by the time I fulfilled my childhood dream of going to UC Berkeley, I quickly learned that there were a few no-no´s about my look:

 

  • Make-up? In the bin. Wearing it was succumbing to patriarchal notions of femininity. Besides, people should love you for what you have on the inside and not on the outside.

  •  Beautiful high heels? Toss ´em, another symbol of female subjugation. I became all about the Birkenstocks, flats, and sports shoes (though I didn’t exercise) 

  • Frilly dresses that gave any hint of the female form? Jeans were best but sweats a close runner-up. At one point, I had about 15 pairs of jeans. Dresses? No way. All of us, male and female, were the same and dressed only accentuated societal notions of gender. (And I will never forget a friend offering me a change of clothes when I showed up in my flowery dress…I can only laugh now!)

  • shaved legs and armpits? Natural was the only way to go. 

 

Interesting enough, the only class I took while at UC Berkeley that supported the idea that femininity and feminism could perfectly co-exist was one on Gender! But everything else about being at CAL made clear that my version of femininity was too backward. So I adjusted.

 

 

By the time I hit law school, my dress code was set in stone. I occasionally wore a dress if the situation merited it, and I immediately felt uncomfortable.  So it became permanent: I couldn´t shake the notion that my notion of femininity, as I had experienced it, equated weakness.

 

In the subsequent 15-20 odd years, I married, moved countries, had two children. During that period, my workplaces reflected my attitudes about femininity: jeans acceptable, little if any makeup, plain hair.

 

And amidst all this, in my early 40s, my husband and I had faced a serious crisis. After several years where the highs were incredibly high, and the lows incredibly low, we had become roommates…without benefits. We lived in stone cold silences, only to reconcile with the sweetest of whisperings, with my husband asking me why I was hiding that diamond inside.  Only to find ourselves feeling alone and lonely again a few days later. After seriously considering a divorce, we re-committed to one another.  And each of us set on a path of self-discovery in order to get that spark back (you can read about it on my website here).

 

The result of that emotional re-commitment made each of us face some hard truths about ourselves and about each other. One element for me was discovering that I had, indeed, squelched and smothered a diamond inside. That everything that made me wonderful was there, waiting to be discovered…not by anyone else, but by me. So it was that in my 40s, I began wearing make-up again. I learned how to walk in heels again. I got my first waxing treatment (I can still hear the hair removal specialist’s yelp…that’s another story).  I got my ears pierced at a jewelry store in Indischebuurt, where my very girly friend Ileana was only too happy to hold my hand. (I will forever be grateful to her).

 

Of course, wearing make-up and heels did not make me more feminine: I am a woman, I am feminine (see Oxford definition). I believe in equal rights for woman. I am feminist. But through the entire process, I learned that I don’t need to hide what makes me feel happy and feminine…and that includes rejoicing in my female form. Even Alicia Keys, a supporter of the no makeup movement, said on the Today show, an American morning show, that she has nothing against make-up. “I love make-up too…“It’s about how you feel. It’s about who you are. It’s about being who you are and not being told who you should be. This conversation shows our obsession with the standard we hold women and beauty.” Alicia and I are at the same time having reached the same conclusion. And I no longer buy my story that only makeup-free women are taken seriously. It simply is no longer my story, and I feel liberated. Free. My story is rejoicing in my newfound notions of femininity. And relishing in each and every one of them, high heels (well…2-inch platforms max) and all! And part of that was participating in Cristina Stoian’s amazing project.

That said, I also don’t let it all hang out. But even if I did, the decision to do so would be mine. And that is feminism and femininity at its best.”  Leticia Vasquez

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 Leticia Vasquez is a relationship coach.  She loves helping women to find lifelong romance without repeating themselves incessantly, whether by crying in rage, sulking, silently seething or fighting. Her approach is rooted in mindfulness and consists of six tools that can help any relationship be rooted in calm, peace…and passion. www.leticia-vasquez.com

 

in Amsterdam / My muses / Photo Reveal 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

You and Your Daughter

 On October 9th, I’m hosting a fundraiser for The Malala Foundation.

I am bringing you 6 coaches (including myself) who are all donating their time to create a memorable, enriching, and fun day to celebrate the mother-daughter bond.

The project is in partnership with our beautiful location, The Hoxton Amsterdam.

If you are lucky enough to be a mother to a teen daughter, join us!

If not, I hope you will share this with your friends who are mothers or grandmothers.

 

 All proceeds go to Malala!

in Events / Mom-Daughter 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

Why not

I have been photographic women for over half a decade.

I can now say that I have heard every excuse you can imagine for women not to step in front of the camera.

I’m not good enough

I don’t look good on camera

I need to lose weight before you take photos of me

I HATE having my photo taken

I look old nowadays…

During the last years photographing women, I discovered some patterns women have in common before they decide to have their portrait taken. It is always the same and always baffles me. I do understand it, as I am a woman too, and I wished I can make a difference about it.  I will discuss it here, because I think women need to get over it.

 

1) I need to lose 25 kilos before I can have my portrait shot taken

 

I have been saying that since I was 25. Each year I felt I do not look good enough now. I am too chubby to appear in photos. I had an image in my head about how I was supposed to look based on how I looked at 14. so I always felt I need to lose weight…and guess what, it never happens. I never manage to lose 25 kilos. why ? because I draw myself nearly impossible targets to achieve and then fail and feel bad about it. If I look back at my photos now since when I was 25, I think to myself, I was insane back then. There’s no way I did not look beautiful. and still, inside of me, there was always this little voice that said.. “you don’t look good enough”… do you recognise that?

 

My solution: I started taking selfies of myself when I turned 28. I’ve created myself a Path account and I’ve only shared it with myself. I have taken photos of me every single week… for 2 years. In each photo, I was trying to show myself in a “beautiful light”. So I learned about posing and lighting. I noticed how my mood changed my photos always, so if I was pleased that day, the photos would look radiant… This helped me improve the image I had about myself… and then.. even to lose weight. When I did not think as much about the weight, but as how can I look more beautiful in my next photo, I did miraculously lose 8 kilos. Because 8-10 was really more realistic…

 

2) What can I do with a portrait

 

Why do I need a portrait, you must wonder yourself as I did for many years. I was taking photos of other people and never occurred to me that I should get one too. And when I did, I realised why. It is such an incredible gift to yourself. To see yourself the way you are. To be able to show the world who you are. To be able to hold yourself in a printed photo and really admire yourself. It is something so powerful, beyond words. It is something that makes you want to appreciate yourself more and be kind to yourself. It is an experience that touches your soul in powerful ways and changes you. Once you know why you want it, you will surely know what to do with it. Tips here.

 

3) I am not ready for this

 

Imagine yourself travelling to a foreign country by yourself. How does it feel? Do you like the fact that there is no person to drag you from your path and you can see whatever you like to see and go wherever you like to go? Does it feel like freedom to be able to choose what to do next?

In my photoshoots, I strive to give you the same feeling. We are designing this shoot together, but really you are the one in charge of this journey. It is a journey for you to discover yourself.  I am providing the tools you need for you to shine through. The real you will shine through. The one that you used to be and now you forgot, the goddess you sometimes felt but now not anymore.

 

4)  I’m too old to have my portrait taken

 

Nearly all women that come to me ask me: can you make me look more young in the photos? Is there some special light you can use so my wrinkles do not get seen?

Yes! your inner special light! Age has nothing to do with your inner light. When your inner light shines, wrinkles have nothing on you. You are more than your body, your skin or your wrinkles. You are now more powerful, witty, deserving. I feel in awe of you and you should be too. Let’s show the world exactly how beautiful you are! 

 

5)  I am not pretty enough

 

I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not pretty, I’m not good looking. I hear this over and over again…. and yet.. you are! I see the light shining in your eyes when I talk about your passion, I see your face lighting up when I talk about your family. I see you sparkling when I ask you about your loved one. So why not shine when I talk about you? Why not allow me to show you how beautiful you really are, who I really see when I look at you. If I could only show you how you are in front of my camera, you will change the way you look at yourself… and it’s an experience you won’t forget!

…and you. miss… reading this. feeling safe behind your computer. what stops you from having your portrait taken? Let me know in the comments below.

in Confidence / Empowerment 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

Mother Daughter

Portraits for me, speak about self- love and loving your body.

 

So many women struggle with their image, as we are judged on impossible standards of appearance.

 

This insecurity is passed from generation to generation. This is why it is so important to teach your daughter to love herself now, the way she is. The message is: “I love myself, therefore my daughter loves herself.”

 

In my practice as a photographer, I offer a ‘mother-daughter day’, so when Allison asked me to be a ‘selfie advisor’ for this event for mothers-and daughters, it felt that I should be part of it. I knew I could pass on some fun tips about photography and also help mothers start a conversation about self-love with their teens.

 

A new study says that girls (65%) feel increasing pressures from advertising and media to reach an unrealistic standard of beauty. This is the key force in driving their appearance anxiety.

 

Low body-esteem is causing the majority of women (85%) and girls (79%) to opt out of important life activities – such as trying out for a team or club, and engaging with family or loved ones – when they don’t feel good about the way they look.

 

Additionally, 7 in 10 girls with low body-esteem say they won’t be assertive in their opinion or stick to their decision if they aren’t happy with the way they look, while 9 out of 10! (87%) women will stop themselves from eating or will otherwise put their health at risk.

 

“This latest research shows that low body confidence is a global issue,” says Dr Nancy Etcoff of Harvard Medical School.

 

This is why we need to empower our girls now, increasing body – confidence education.

We can start by having meaningful conversations around the body – image, how they perceive their own appearance.

I had a girl in my studio the other day, she was so beautiful, my heart was melting, but she stayed so serious the whole shoot. I realized while photographing her, she was uncomfortable with her teeth, so she avoided smiling. It took a lot to make her smile and she was only 7!!

Our own perceptions of ourselves start so early, it is important to educate our girls in the right direction. Make the first step. Come to our shoot and we’ll start a conversation while taking portraits.

 

Enjoy this mother-daughter day and portrait reveal of this beautiful mother-daughter pair.

 

 

 

Start a meaningful conversations around body-image

You're so beautiful

Schedule a chat

 

in Mom-Daughter / Photo Reveal 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

It’s a celebration

I have been in a celebratory mode lately.
Summer is here, flowers are in bloom, sun shines high.
Me and my husbands’ 5 years anniversary happened, and we celebrated it in style. My husbands’ birthday happens to be at the same time, we had a double anniversary. Holidays are near.

Being in this mood, I seemed to attract clients that celebrate their birthdays with a photoshoot. What an honor for me to partake to this wonderful celebration. Life is to be celebrated. Don’t let those special moments pass without marking it.
Last month I had Veronica in my studio, a gorgeous Paraguayan woman with Russian roots, architect, wife, lover of life and Amsterdam. She decided to mark her last day of her 20’s with a photoshoot.  A gift to herself.

This is what she said about our Glamour Experience.

 

“It was a wonderful experience, I discovered I love a side of myself I felt insecure about. The photo shoot made me feel comfortable with myself.
I was amazed, I couldn’t recognise myself in some pictures and now I feel more confident. I would definitely recommend this experience, it met and exceeded my expectations.”

 

 

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Celebrate your birthday in style

Mark this moment in time

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in Feminine Energy 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

My 5 minutes of fame

Last week I had the crew from NL Supervrouwen TV documenting my team and I for their Me-Time Program. They sent over a gorgeous woman, Sonya Dias, to participate in the Glamour Experience and then share her thoughts about it.

This initiative belongs to Wendy Broersen – she is starting a new online TV program where she talks about women entrepreneurs and their journey; super-women, as she calls them. Some of the names she has interviewed so far are: Ariane Inden, Genevieve van Meerburg, Marielle Sijgers and Louise Beduwe.

I love the idea and the female energy around this. It reminds me of my time being a partner at CRAVE, where we published a book of women entrepreneurs and made an online directory full of awesome businesses, owned by women.

The day went by fast and I was nervous having to talk in front of the camera, having to manage everyone and keep the energy high. Sony was a super-star, she managed to focus and actually relax into it and enjoy the experience fully.

Here are some behind the scenes made by amazing photographer Teresa Hulst from California Girl (CG). 

Make-up by: Lorena Ciubotaru
Styling/Art Direction: California Girl (CG)
Photographer : Cristina Stoian Portraits
Model: Sonya Dias

 

Here’s the Me-time video that went on to NL Supervrouwen TV. 

 


And here are my photos that I took of Sonya.

 

In her real life Sonya is an amazing speaker and presentor, she comes from Cape Verde and lives in Rotterdam. She is so enthusiastic and full of energy, she filled up the whole room with her smile. I photographer her in her capeverdian feather designer dress and various colourful national accessories. She’s magnificent to watch.

Enjoy her beautiful photos!

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in Feminine Energy / Inspiration / Positive Body Image / Shoot with Cris 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

Going back to your Roots

Every year I go back home to visit my parents, at least once or twice. It is my get-away from day to day life. I enjoy going back to a safe place where everything feels familiar.

 

In a way it’s like returning back to the past.

 

It’s a moment of reflection and deeper discovery of who I am.

 

I reconnect to the things I used to like and discover I still like them; like gardening, smelling roses, being back in nature and shopping with my mum.

 

Do you know that feeling? Where everything around you reminds you of some distant memory and every smell brings you back to your childhood.

 

It is a special moment, when I allow myself to be the daughter again, forgetting about my other chores and stresses in my life.

 

Making rose jam with my mum… mmm, bliss..

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I spend time with my parents and appreciate them being around me, feeling their love, listening to their words.

 

I understand so much more about myself watching them: what drives me and pushes me forward, why I like the things I like, remembering my old dreams and making new ones together.

 

How can I stop time? So I can appreciate it for longer.

 

The only way I know, of course is by taking photos.

 

It is printed in my DNA, my second nature, it feels so natural.

 

How about you? How would you like to preserve these moments in time and keep the celebration going?

 

Preserve this moment in time

Give yourself some well deserved me-time

Schedule a Chat
in Shoot with Cris 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

50+ is Fabulous !

I’ve been fascinated lately with the trend in the media, photographs of stylish seniors, documenting their mature, chic and fabulous personalities.

It has been a secret desire of mine to photograph someone 50+ & Fabulous. I was already imagining how I would style it and photograph it and not too long after, my wish came true and everything that I thought it would be, it happened!

I have photographed Caroline Waanders, a spiritual coach from Nijeberkoop. She is an empath, using her wisdom to help companies and individuals in their development.

Caroline dreams of a world where everyone is and develops their authentic self, a world where people start using their unique personal power to achieve their goals and they live by their heart and soul. How beautiful is that!

She is a phenomenal woman.

During her photoshoot, her confidence and charm exuded and made my work with her – easy. I had a lot of fun photographing her and her step daughter and also the little dog Tara, which came along in the shoot as her +1.

 

I will leave you with the pictures and a behind the scenes video of them.

 

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Mark this moment in time

Get a Portrait Together

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in Feminine Energy / Power Aging 0 comments
 by Cristina Stoian

May vacantie and Liberation Day

Since Holland is in Holiday mode today, I thought I would take a day off from my newsletter too!

I am all about celebrations and time off and feel they are an important aspect in my life.

With this said, I want to thank you for being here and give you a moment to catchup with me.

 

This is a list of what I have written so far, since the beginning of this wonderful blogging journey.

 

 

Renewing the vows with myself

Renewing the vows with myself

How to Return to Self-Love in 10 Steps

How to Return to Self-Love in 10 Steps

 

How to prepare for your photoshoot

How to prepare for your photoshoot

 

The many sides of women

The many sides of women

 

Behind the scenes

Behind the scenes

First step to Love

First step to Love

 

Hi Beautiful

Hi Beautiful

 

Raise your daughter’s self esteem

Raise your daughter’s self esteem

 

What is a Folio Box

What is a Folio Box

 

Beauty trends 2016

Beauty trends 2016

How do you see yourseld

How do you see yourself ?

 

I am a Woman

I AM A WOMAN

 

Why not exist in photos

Why not exist in photos

 

It’s magic

It’s Magic

 

Mother and Daughter Day Video

Mother and Daughter day video

 

Mother and Daughter Day

Mother and Daughter Day

 

Time to Reconnect with your True Self

Time to Reconnect With Your True Self

With the Liberation Day in mind, I want to set you free, please go ahead and unsubscribe if you feel that this newsletter does not serve you well.

If it does, can you think of one friend that might benefit from it, go ahead and forward this email to them.
I would appreciate that.

Thank you! Thank you ! Thank you ! and enjoy this lovely holiday!

in Amsterdam / Inspiration 0 comments