From Fear to Love
This year I decided to change the way I start my year, instead of having resolutions, I will take the challenge to love more, fear less.
You see, last year I have written my resolutions and eager to work on them, I went too fast, and spun out of my control. I had a bike accident that put me out for 3 months. Thinking back, it happened mainly because of my lack of patience, lack of love for myself, lack of strength to say we’ll get there, no need to kill yourself in the process.. I recovered, but the accident put a dent on me, made me more fearful. For example, I never went back on my bike, which is a shame, Amsterdam is so nice on the bike. Not only that, I started to look at life more careful, think about it more, be more timid, feel more frail.
Realizing that this happens, that fear kicked in and took control of my life, I started looking at other areas of my life to see where else is fear? Where do I fear the most.
Sure fear is good for survival, but can you identify which fear is good for you and which stops you in your path? Fear incapacitates you and makes you feel weak. This is the type of fear you need to get rid of, for it is not real.
Challenge: Can you identify at least 5 types of fear that you are feeling right now ?
I can share a few of mine.
Fear I will not succeed
Fear I will succeed
Fear I am going to end up alone
Fear I am rejected
Fear I am not good enough
Now, next exercise, how do we turn these around ?
This year, I decided I will focus on my health. While doing my yoga practice, I will consciously push my brain to think differently. Starting with my breath. I thought of a simple exercise which I can practice everywhere, and that is: inhale in love, exhale out fear. Inhale love, exhale fear. Every time I would remember it throughout the day, I will pause and say this to myself while breathing. Inhale love, exhale fear.
Now imagine a “you” without the fear. Where would you be ? What will you gain, and what are you willing to go through to gain that ? Fear is what keeps you here, and to move from here to where you want to be, you have to understand that the opposite of fear is not courage, is love.
This is the best part. Love trumps fear. I am not talking about the feeling of being in love. You don’t have to wait to have someone to love. You can start with love for yourself.
Thinking this way, how can you turn around the fears I mentioned above? Let’s see, I’ll go one by one.
Fear I will not succeed – turn it around – “I love myself, I acknowledge all successes along the way, I am already successful, this is what I have accomplished so far, this makes me confident I can do more, more love, less fear.”
Fear of success – this is a big one for not many people acknowledge this. How can you fear the thing you want the most. Well, because it comes with strings attached – maybe jealousy from friends, bigger pain to go through, harder failure threshold. Turn it to love and say “I love myself, I enjoy to create and pursue my creations, my ideas, I enjoy the process, I enjoy the time I put into getting successful, therefore I am already on my path to success. I chose love, for love keeps us united.”
Fear I am going to end up alone. – we are social creatures. Sometimes we take decisions in our lives that have nothing to do with what we want, but based on the fear of ending up alone: a failed relationship, a toxic friendship, a business partnership gone bad. So how to turn this to love ? “I love myself, and I know I am connected to everyone. I trust more will be provided at the right time for me, I trust the universe will send me enough love and I stay open to it. I am ok by myself and I honor myself.”
If you think this way, more people will be attracted to you, the right kind of people for you.
Fear I am rejected – on our daily basis, this is one of the easiest fear to identify. In anything you do, you will get a moment of fear before you put anything out there for the world to see. Am I going to be accepted by my peers? Will I not be judged by saying this, doing this, acting this way. This one is one of the most crippling of the fears and it has to go. Make it your daily ritual to go out of your comfort zone today, do one thing that puts you in front of people. “I love myself therefore I love what I create, it is part of me and no matter what people will say about it, I still love it for it is mine. I am sufficient in myself. I trust sufficient people will like it. ”
The ones that won’t, it is their journey, their path, their ideas. not mine. Stop the self judgement, comparison and envy. Take small action steps daily towards your dreams.
Fear I am not good enough. Commit yourself to change some things you don’t like about yourself. You don’t like your weight? Change it. You don’t like your strength? Change it! “For I love myself and I want to be the best version of myself I can”. “I love myself therefore I practice everyday to be stronger, healthier, lighter, more joyful.”
Do you need a calendar for this? Plan it it. “I am good enough today and I am working on getting better everyday. “
It is not an easy journey, it requires inner work, and daily practice, commitment, resilience. But it pays. It pays big time.
Why does it matter ? Because the world needs more love, less fear. The world needs your gifts, your happiness, your joy. The world needs you to live promoting service and collaboration. The world needs more love.
This is my New Year’s challenge. More love, less fear. Are you in ?